Almost week 7...

OMG how much do I suck at this? Anyway, since my last post I'm hoping that I went through the worst of the accutane course. The last 2 weeks have been awful, and it was only yesterday and today where I was finally like, ok, I can do this. The blemishes are all over my cheeks, big, deep, and red. It is actually pretty cover-upable with make-up, but I still hate it. My cheeks are extra bumpy and I really just don't like how it looks. From what I've researched, it seems that month three is really where you start to see some improvements so I'm looking forward to the next four or so weeks. I also read somewhere that it is actually a good sign when your skin gets worse before it gets better, as it is a sure sign that the accutane is taking hold in your body... whatever. It sucks in the meantime! Lips still really dry, although I think I am used to that. The body aches are getting worse, and my hands are sooooo dry. Other than that, no major side effects that I've noticed. My back is totally clear, and my nose is black-head free, which has always been a problem. It is weird to look in the mirror and not see black heads on my nose. Anyway, thats about it for now, I will try and be better at this!!

Week 3-Complete!

I am really terrible at this blogging everyday thing... but I am really going to try and be better. I've had this revelation the past few days, where I really am going to try and better myself in every aspect of my life, and being a better blogger is definitely part of that! Anyway, here I am, 3 weeks in. I have to say, not much improvement. Maybe a slightttt bit, but nothing super noticeable. Lips are dry, joints ache a little, and major mood swings. Depression on occasion, but I guess I knew all of this coming into it. I also feel like each new pimple or blemish that comes up is like an instant whitehead, but also dries up a lot faster than before. Today is one of those days that I would just like to be done with, as I am overly self- concious about it today. I know I have to be patient, but I can really see how it has gotten in the way of my self-confidence.

I was invited to three weddings that will all be coming up within the next 6 months or so, so I guess I am just concerned that my skin will be clear in time for those. I really hate being 25 and a teacher and still having to deal with this. I've gotten back into my workout routine lately, which is awesome, so I am feeling a little better physically, I just hate looking in the mirror. Like I said, after reading all these posts, I know I need to be patient in order to fully see results, today is just one of those days. It can't end early enough. It seems to be more day-to-day with the accutane, as some days are good and others not so good, so hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Day 11

Haven't wrote in a while, but here's an update nonetheless...

In the last few days I kinda feel like my skin has gotten slightly worse. Now, this can be for a few reasons: it could be my normal skin producing blemishes as it has for the past however many years, it could be due to the fact that I am starting my period soon, or it could be the dreaded initial breakout when starting accutane. Today is better than it was yesterday, so I guess only time will tell. In the meantime, I keep telling myself to just stick it out, it will all be worth it in 6 months.

I also forgot to take my pill this morning. I was running around trying to get ready, and as I was halfway to work I realized that I never took it. I did some research online, and I guess it isn't the end of the world that I didn't take it. Today was also the first day where I am feeling a bit depressed. Again, could be for a few reasons but I know that depression is supposedly one of the side effects of accutane. Lips continue to be very dry, but chapstick is my new best friend so it's not too bad. Other than that, Yanks won the World Series so can't complain too much!!!

Days 6 & 7

Didn't get a chance to write yesterday...oops!  Here's the weekend update:

Definitely noticing an improvement on the right side of my face.  There are still some red marks and some scabs from old mistakes (ughh), but an improvement nonetheless.  I have makeup on right now and its pretty well hidden.  The left side of my face which is usually the better side is actually lagging behind my right.  I would say that the worst of it is right under my jawline where those cysts popped up on Friday.  I should also add that I got my hair done yesterday... just a single process on the roots, as well as a glaze all over.  When it was all dry, I definitely noticed a huge difference in texture.  My hair that is normally very smooth and silky was dry and straw-like.  I am not sure if it was because of the glaze or if it is dried out because of the accutane.  I guess we will see tomorrow after I shower.  

When I was going to bed, I definitely noticed an improvement on my right side, it was pretty surprising.  My mom had even said to me once today that she thought the accutane was working, so that was nice to hear.  Just hearing that from someone motivates me to stick with it and to stay positive.  Lips are seriouslyyyy dry, but aquaphor is my new best friend.  I'll take dry lips to acne any day!

Day 5

Ok well... woke up this morning with 2 new cysts just under my left jawbone, near my chin.  I seem to get them a lot here, not sure why. No new changes on my right side, although makeup seems to cover up that side somewhat easily.  The red marks on the right side of my face are kind of scabby, which is probably why they are easy to cover up.  They will probably eventually just dry up and fall off, which is what usually happens in my past experiences.  I'm a little shiner today than I have been this week, but I am not too worried about it yet.  Weighed in today for our "biggest loser" competition at school, stayed at 168.  I have a volleyball game today, which will certainly be followed by happy hour... obviously, I will not be drinking, I just hope my makeup holds up.  No new major changes to report.  No unusual side effects, lips a little dry.

Just doin' it.. gimme the Accutane

You know I don't even know when I first started to battle acne, but ever since my freshman year of college my skin has been something that has completely taken over my self esteem.  Even during the best of times, what my skin looked like was always like the annoying voice in the back of my head.  To this day, I have a hard time looking at people directly for more than an average of about 5 seconds, in fear that they will notice the scars and red spots that even Clinique cannot completely disguise.  I've tried nearly everything; topicals, creams, spot treatments, peels, orals, and many others which sometimes worked for only short periods of time.  I should add that I am not on, and have never been on the pill.  I am not sure if it is true what they say, that being on the pill can sometimes clear up your skin, I guess I'll never know for sure.  Today, I am a 25 year old P.E. teacher and coach, and I find myself constantly comparing my skin to the skin of my younger students and athletes.  "I should be done with this!!!" I will often find myself saying, mad that these younger kids have flawless skin compared to what mine looks like.  

Just recently, I noticed that my somewhat severe breakouts have become more cystic in nature, covering parts of my face that I normally have never had a problem.  It was just last week that one of my students said to me very innocently, "Ms. Turner! I can see you have makeup on! It's a different color!!"  At that point, I knew I needed to just do it.  I have been contemplating going on Accutane for about a year now, and had always talked myself out of it.  This was the breaking point.  I am so over putting on makeup twice a day, over being self-concious, and most of all, over acne.  That very day, I called my dermatologist, went in that night, and began the cycle an hour later.  I needed to just do it, a phrase I have come to live by.

I have done a lot of research on Accutane, and read a lot of people's blogs about their usage as well.  It is because of these people that I have the guts to document my own journey with Accutane, hoping that it will help others as these other blogs have helped me.  After reading about the success rate of many of the users, the decision to just do it came rather easily.

So here I am.  Today is actually day 4 of my cycle; I do 20mg in the morning, and 40mg at night.  As of right now, the only side effect I have noticed is dry lips and slightly dry eyes.  I have absolutely noticed that my skin is producing less oil than normal, as my face is not as shiny as usual by the end of the work day.  I know it is only day 4, but I may be seeing a minimal improvement at this point. Like I said, definitely drier than usual, as my face produces more in a day than some people do in a year.  I will try and post some pics if I can figure out how.  I am very excited to be finally starting accutane, just scared about a possible initial breakout....

here we go...